APRIL SEVENTH TWENTY-TWENTY-FOUR

If you thought this page would have changed as well, well I am sorry, the last two pages it took to get here are enough for now. Next week my actual entries will have a shiny coat of spit for you, but for now deal with this.

Got a raise! Decent, nothing special. Came out to like a dollar nine. I have been kinda slackin on getting out of bed on time this week. Was feeling under the weather. I don't know if it was malaise or illness but I am tilled now.
The weather has been ass. I am willing to brave the negatives but forty and wet is another beast. I do not own any wet gear and so am unwilling to interrupt the dreariness. It does not need my company nor I it.
I have not gotten out much this week. I have been deep in the books and have spent a fair amount of time chatting with friends on the phone. I do love them.
There is a swim in the Chicago Canal in several months. They have half one and two mile distances to swim in the canal downtown right below the canal to The Lake. I think I will do that. I used to be a 'decent' swimmer. Nothing special. Years ago when I was a Boy Scout or when I lived in Texas and swam a lot but now I am old and pruneish. I am tossing the idea around. In the next month or two I will decide if it is something I want to commit to. I work on the canal with boats and stuff. Everyone has an immpresion of it being what it used to be. I would love to swim in it just to be a dick and toss their ideas with them.

The amount of frustration web design is oh goodness. I guess anything worth doing mentally leaves your facilities mush. It is amazing how tired you can get from beating your head against a wall over and over.
Hence why this page is still repugnant to look at.

I read some Jung this week and man did it give me an existential crisis on Tuesday. There was a part that said, and I paraphrase, "How do you know that what you want, is what your subconcious wants?". What a thought.
I left for the bar after sulking for a while it put me in such a compromise. Having finished the book, I am in better functions. I think the point was to trust ones body and not stray from what is ought.
It leaves room for god in the sterile enviroment that we find ourselves in. You are not your thoughts, and your thoughts are not you.
For those wrapped up in themselves, I would recommend the book. For everyone else, its best to let the sleeping dog lie.

This next week I am to have a sit down with my boss and his assistant to discuss what I want to be when I grow up.
During our converstaion to discuss my raise we talked lightly on it. He talked about some projects I could do to help out the department. I am quite capable when it comes to excel and alike. When I mean capable, I do not mean nice cute tables. I mean big data, scrapping websites, VBA, and hidden programs inside excel like PowerQuery. I love automating stuff and getting people out of work.
That being said, doing more of it isn't exactly growth. And in any roles I have had, it has never been in the job description. It has been something I enjoy doing and has been a favor to my coworkers that I should take my free time to reinvent the wheel.
On what I want, well I want my bosses job. I like hearing about big problems with no easy solutions. I like the idea of having to wear many different hats and spending many hours researching to become an expert on some obscure law. I would like to do that.
To continue down this information science role means I would need a degree to even move out of this job. If I continue the path I am on, I am able to leverage my capabilites more because no one else has the ability.
I hope I can get my boss to understand this paradigm and not think about how I can do more for him to make his job easier.

I will see you next week ol friend




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